As I sit here might I say thinking where this and what I accomplished this past year and truth be told it was lots of worry and stress. Yes I am not going to say there were not happy moments and blessed moments but why do I feel as if I didn’t do all I could.
There has been one thing that I have asked plenty of times this past year. What is my purpose? Could it be a mid-life crisis that I’m finally after all these years in my 40’s I want to ask this question.
I sit back and say what has been my purpose? What if I am no more what will they say I accomplished? Besides my children what have I really done in this life?
What is my purpose? Am I just going to be a person who ended up in debt and never was able to have their own or will do something with the time I have left? I want my children to be proud of me as I am of them.
This is why I push my children to go after their dreams and wants. Time waits for no one and then your time here is done.
I want to accomplish more next year. I want to be able to take a deep breath of true peace. Not to fear to take a deep breath and wonder what will happen next.
Beloved Lord, I ask you to guide me. I trust in you. What is your will for me?Lord use me. I need you. I love you with all that I am. I yearn for you always. I hunger to be with you in the quite.
Come Holy Spirt Come. Quite all the noise that a surrounds me. Let me hear your voice oh Lord. What is the purpose you have for me?
Thus that is my word for 2018. So much noise and worry can get overwhelming. My goal is to learn to find those quiet times to want less material things and more spiritual things.
I actually keep having this yearning that I want to be able to hold a woman’s bible study as well as invite our parish priests to our home for a meal once a month. It’s a thought that also has been tapping me the whole year. I then think of the reality.
As truth be told I don’t have any of the resources for it. Perhaps I need to have more of what of St. Teresa of Calcutta as how she would pray without cessing and although she had those dark periods feeling as if our Lord was quite she still worked so hard to be closer and closer to our Lord.
So let this coming year really be filled with real purpose.