Here we are at with the 1st day of a New Year. So many resolutions I’ve heard. From losing weight, to saving money but there is one I want to do. I want to pray more. I need to pray more.
I want to grow my relationship better with the Lord. I actually found a parish close enough to my home that has adoration every week. I can not say how giddy I was when I found this out. I feel like this is my change to get a little bit closer to our Lord. I sometimes as I kneel look at the blessed sacrament and am in awe yet feel so little and unworthy.
I think of the stories of saints and people who have heard our Lord’s message to them. Then there is me who just hears myself with all the worries and questions.
I can never seem to find myself quiet. To be honest I think I’m almost afraid to be quiet. What if our Lord does speak to my heart, yet I wonder why should I be afraid what is that? What is that about? I WANT him to speak to me yet I’m the one not letting him?
When I go into the chruch before picking up my daughter it seems there is the one question I sit and seem to ask Lord always. What is it that you want from me? I ramble on with all that is going on and all my worries and perhaps that’s why I can’t hear if our Lord has something to tell me.
Perhaps that’s why I got one of my favorite saints when I went on to Saint Name Generator and got St. Padre Pio.
I almost think of him as if he were a dad or grandfather that would give me that look when I would be doing wrong but have a good love for me. I love how he loved the Lord and Mama. I am so excited to get to know him better and pray for his intercession more this year as well . I’m actually reading a book called Parde Pio’s Spirtitual Direction for Everyday that I hope to read throughout the year.
There are some very serious things going on right now with our family. It’s really hard. I am praying that I get I’m able to find a way to get an income going.
Our living situation is getting stranded as well so much going on. All I know to do is pray. I truly believe in prayer and have seen them heard even in my moments that I am in dispair I need to remember this.