31 Days Has July

Can’t believe how fast we are here. The first of July. It’s been interesting the past few months, to say the least.

In it all, I have learned one thing. How much I need prayer or more like that conversation with our Lord. I have learned to yearn for that time. These months well just about a year it will be. (as it all started last July actually. One of the hardest times for my family)

This time last year was the start of me surrendering. To truly trust in the world. To see how much I really need our Lord. How I needed to seek refuge in our Mama Mary’s mantle and ask her to please help my prayers reach her son.

To see how much it meant the help of strangers. How humbling it was to have to need it so. Yet it made me that more thankful. I learned that I truly needed to fall that hard to really see his full grace. His wonder.

I wake up each day and am so thankful. Not going to lie I still carry some fear because I still am in awe of answered prayers. I am so thankful so humble. As we are reaching just about a year from one of our darkest moments I want to be able to give praise for the next 31 days and will share little bits here.

It wouldn’t be too long as I don’t have time during the day to just pour myself out into writing but I will grab my computer and upload something.

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There are certain things I will be doing starting with this post. I plan to post more than once a week here to let you know how I’m doing.

Since July is the month of the Most Precious Blood it even makes this month that more special.

  • Catholic Online has information for each day to meditate about.
  • The awesome blogger Kendra of Catholic All Year Round has This amazing printable for July which I purchased.
  • Pray As You Go has 31 Days of St. Ignatius prayer-centered emails during July with scripture reflections based on themes from the Spiritual Exercises which you can sign up.

Besides these, I hope to make it adoration at least once a week.  Right now my schedule isn’t allowing me to go to daily mass but I can make it to the weekly adoration available.

I also will continue to veil which is something I started since Lent. Now I feel like I can’t go to mass without veiling. I will share more on a further post about what it means to me personally.

Well, that is all I wanted to share for now. I’d love to know what you will be doing this July.

 

 

Just Like That Summer

I know its been more then I’d like to admit how long it’s been since I posted but you guessed it life has kept me busy.

Although I have wanted to come and post. I haven’t as Ive been deciding what I should do being this isn’t my only blog. ( that will be shared in another post)

I have actually written posts (ok in my head) things I’ve wanted to share. Of things that have been happening but I just never got a chance.

The whole reason I started this blog was to document more about what has happened in my faith. I must say since Lent things have happened. I really am so thankful to our Lord because more and more each day I see how it truly connected to the “pleasing generation” we have become.

I have been doing my best to try to separate myself in doing so. I have seen myself change in how and who I was a time ago.

For example I had mentioned how I started to veil during Lent now I can’t go to mass w/out doing so. It actually is something personal that I have felt called to do and it makes me feel more connected to our Lord during mass when I do.

I reach for more faith based things including what I might be watching or listening to which has been surprising to myself even.

Sadly I haven’t been able to go to a daily weekly mass like I use to and that has me so sad. Yes I am able to go to weekly Sunday mass but not being able to go to a weekday mass really has me sad.

I did find an app that tells you where you can find a mass any day of the week but the times I see for a timer I could attend are not available really. They do have late masses but the 2 parishes that do have them are too far for me to reach.

I did however find a church that has adoration on Thursdays that I can go to. So although I may not be able to squeeze a weekday mass I can spend some time with our Lord during Adoration.

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I have been wanting to do another class or mini online retreat or something else to grow more in faith and learn.

It seems that Summer is when hard waves hit us and yet again we are facing one at the moment. I am trying to give it up to our Lord and asking for him to guide us. It’s to do with the education for our girls.

If you have a moment and would like to pray that our Lord enlightens us as to what to do  next I would be so thankful.

As you know last Summer really didn’t exist for us last year as it was one of the most stressful times for our family.

I am praying that we are able to perhaps enjoy some of it. Next week my youngest will be turning six. That in itself is such a beautiful blessing. Last week she graduated from Kindergarten. I can’t believe how time is flying.

Well I think I’ll stop right here and hope to write more and not take so long to post again. I do have other things I want to share with you.

One is about a book I received from which  I think is a little push and I’ll explain more on that later.

For now I’d love to hear what plans do you have for the Summer?

It’s Countdown Time

As I sit here (from my new laptop) yup my other one gave up BUT the good thing is my beloved hooked me up!! (It’s was our 17th yr wedding anniversary 3/1) I am working on trying to get back into it.

I keep thinking weren’t we just talking about Advent and now Lent is basically upon us! Are you ready? My heart really is burning for this time. I am looking forward to it.

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For me this year I am going to be doing something I had been wanting to for a while but you could I say I’ve been chicken.

That’s when I hear that voice in my head saying hello this isn’t about you. It’s about complete surrender and control and truly being present as much as you can.

With this Lent I want to truly do small things with love and to me that will be one of them.

I also want to read more I had posted on my instagram account how I will be reading The Wordl’s First Love Mary,Mother of God by Venerable Fulton Sheen which I am excited to do so.  It’s been a while since I’ve actually read a book for just me that wasn’t for work or the kids really.

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Besides my books I read with Blessed is She. Speaking of which I also will be do this year once more and join in this year. The Devotional is called To the End. It is so beautiful and I can’t wait to dig in.

I also would love to do mini local pilgrimages which as I do them I will share. I feel that it’s important to take mini little journeys that ignites you to give praise.

Now I ask you how will you be changed this Lent. My prayer while we go through these 40 days is to do just that. I am suppose to be getting something in the mail soon that I will share that is for you and your family to access during Lent.

Are you doing anything with your children? I actually saw an awesome and super easy idea from Kendra -Catholic All Year where she shared the most easiest way to make a King Cake for Fat Tuesday! It actually will be our first year “celebrating” Fat Tuesday at home the kids usually do something at school. I can’t wait to surprise them.

Well that’s it for me can’t wait to hear what you are planning this Lent.

 

 

Good Story Bro…

Kids are off to school and as I grab my broom to start to sweep before I head out and go to a very important “appointment” I start to reflect. I had grabbed my Magnificat and turned to today’s reading but put it down and went on to something else. I even posted a picture on Instagram so I can remember to grab it and actually READ it.

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For some reason, I started to reflect back to my teen years. I think of how I really was one to say yes “I’m Catholic” but those were the most empty words ever I could have ever spoken. I had no clue whatsoever what that meant.

Sure my mom sent my brother and me to the classes every week so we could receive our sacraments. If you ask me what was one thing I remember or learned there. I can honestly say nothing. I remember nothing. I actually had my 1st communion as a 4th grader. I remember finishing my classes to be “prepared” for Communion and saying ok now what? That day all I remember is my mom making me wear a dreaded dress (I was the BIGGEST Tomboy) and saying wait till you we have to take communion and the priest will come to you and remember to tell him Amen… I just did what my mom said. It had NO meaning whatsoever what and why I was doing this for.

 

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Years went by and there I was again more classes this time I was doing what is this? Conformation hmm ok… I remember the jest of the class was we had to make a banner with the saint we had chosen as our conformation name.

I remember being so annoyed as I had to do a report on a saint as if I didn’t have enough with my real school work.

Once again I did it cause my mom said I had to. I remember looking at the list of saint names they suggested. Hmmm, Bernadette OK let’s go with that one.

Now who is this person….I’m pretty sure my report was cut and pasted (sorry Bernadette) cause I had no clue who she was just it was what I had to listen for when they called me up when they called me up.

I didn’t get to know who Bernadette until oh so many years later. Like I had my kids later… but that’s a story for another time.

I remember this time it seems my Conformation was a bigger deal than when I had my first communion.(at least for my mom) My mom got a tailor to make my dress. I got my hair done.  So many family members I hadn’t seen in years were coming I even was getting a cake… OK, I thought well who knew this “Conformation” thing is gonna be fun.

Then it was time for the service and I remember all of the kids lining up and all the incense oh my goodness. I had never seen that little church so packed. I remember walking with my Sponser as we walked in and sitting. Don’t remember much just knowing it was a big deal for my mom. (Nothing in their of my sacrements do I remember what they meant. At all that made me sad in my later years.

We had cake lots of congrats and envelopes and that is what “I’m Catholic” meant at that time.  I did what my mom told me. I never could understand why was she always praying to St. Joseph why did she love him so much??? (My mom’s patron saint is St.Joseph there is even a “church sized” St. Joseph & Baby Jesus) I remember the times I was forced to go to mass I would see that lady there. Didn’t think anything of her. I only believed in  God and that’s it I was not about to worship anyone else. Now THAT was so wrong. I would see my mom go to card reading, do these “good luck baths” and coffee cup readings and I really in a way though all of that was part of being Catholic (insert emoji with hand on the face please)

Now why am I writing all of this because my story isn’t a one a kind it’s sadly one that too many might have and will read this and say oh my gosh yes!! I so did too!!

I think that is why I work so hard to make sure that when my kids go to mass they grasp something out of it.

I’ll start conversations and ask what did they think. I try to explain the stories I learn and ask them questions and they have taught me. If I could I wish I could take all my sacrements again because they all seem like an empty shell. Today there is nothing that makes my heart so happy then when I see the conceration of the host. To hear do this in memory of me. It is everything. I am so humbled and no more words are more true then being able to say “Lord I am NOT worthy that you should enter my roof but ONLY say the words and my soul shall be healed. I mean EVERYTIME …MIND BLOWN…’

I think wow you love me, us that much? No matter how broken, low turned away from him HE loves us… Mama Mary she who for so many years I ignored her. When she was who I needed to get closer to her son. She was who I felt understand my own mother’s heart. (still does each day) I tell her all the time oh Mama I’m sorry I didn’t understand that you love me and only want to take me closer to your son (again another story for another time ha)

As you can see my thoughts went in deep and my post is meant to make you think as it has me. (Or at least I hope it does) Especailly with the fast pace and crazy of the present time it almost feels as if we are holding for dear life at the edge. I always remember this image:

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It just makes me want to get up and reach for his hand and arm and just yearn for the embrace of his love.

I’m tired y’all.  To be honest. It trully feels like the never ending race but I know that it’s all part of his plan and no matter how hard it may seem there is his glory in the end.

That is why here I am posting yet again. Laughing because this blog was suppose to shut down but some how here it is. (You can see what happened on my IG post) and I really believe our Lord has a sense of humor and so we need to remember that as well to remember to laugh sometimes. It is NOT suppose to be all just tears but we must hold on and be thankful for each and every second,minute hr and day. I am so thankful for it all.

Hey you guys. Next Week Begins Lent. Yup I said it. Are you READY? This Lent I am really feeling called to some things that I will share on my next post so be sure to come back.

I’d love to hear what are some things you are doing.

 

Once Again

 

It seems I will never get this blog going. I looked at one of my emails and it says I soon will have to decide once more do I want to keep it going or not. It’s really been a year?

I must say I was shocked to say the least. Then I think of what the last year was?

Did I really accomplish much personally? Did I really get goals I had planned completed? To be honest I would say perhaps if I am being generous like 25% percent.

I did have that amazing Bible journaling class for almost 6 months although in the end it was only my daughter myself and 2 other people it still was something that fueled me because it forced me to open the Bible and really listen to the words and messages our Lord has for us.

I did grow in prayer and surrender mostly because I had no choice in the matter. I was humbled and thankful and in awe all in the same time.

I saw the grace and power of the great I AM in front of me. It was still is so overwhelming each time I think of it.

I learned and say how the word I had chosen for last year which was “PURPOSE” and wow did it come front in center.

I really saw what my purpose is. I was able to see truths and unmask things in myself and others which really has given me another view of things.

 

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My goals really changed and I am so thankful that although the last Summer was so hard & crushing our Lord was there holding me and our Beloved Mother Mary.

I felt her in each of my agony I had to endure not knowing what and how things would change for my family and if we really would about to turn our children’s’ life even more upside down then it was at the moment.

That is where my word for this year came actually which is SUBSTANCE it is to me intertwined with my last word. That is why I have been thinking is me having this blog really something I want or need?

My answer is actually yes. It needs my attention and to give it the current substance it deserves. To be able to speak my truths of my motherhood, life but most important my faith because without it really what do I have.

One of the things I really want to do is go into the city and do an evening of Catholic Underground. I already know my 15 yr old son is coming but if I could have one prayer answered it would be that my oldest would want to join us.

Not because I feel like it will make him say Oh my gosh I need to get back to my faith …Ok maybe but more like just want him to encounter others his age as well as just see how beautiful our faith is.

His mentality is just as mine was at his age in thinking it’s boring and I really believe in God and well I’m too busy right now.

If I could back to my 20 old self I would

1- smack her in the back of the head and tell her focus. Time flies and NOW is the time to start building your future and without God first well nothing will happen.

2- You really don’t have all the answers even if you think you do, ask for help and most of all advice to people you trust.

3- Pause and actually go to mass, sit in the back you don’t have to tell anyone you going just go.

4- Go to confession it is such an amazing feeling to hear those words… Your sins are forgiven.

5- Really pray.

6 Which is really the most important one of all is it is NOT you against the World because YOU are not alone.

 

 

Do you have a word for this year? Any goals for this coming year. Before I go you guys did you see the beautiful devotional for Lent that Blessed is She has for us?

Oh I already know it’s gonna get deep y’all it took my breath away and can’t wait and hope I can share with my Bible journaling group.

Here is to a blessed and wonderful faith filled year…..

Heart Break and Faith

How many times have you said “God Bless you” to someone? Think about it for a second. It’s almost an automatic thing if someone sneezes am I right? Now think about what you are saying God Bless you.

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Now, how about “I’ll pray for you” When you hear someone is going through something. Are you just saying it or will you really pray for that person? These are words that people say without really thinking for the most part. They may have the true intention to do so but do they really?

As of late with all that is going on with my family. We have heard lots of “We will pray for you” I feel sad to say some just think it’s something they should say.

It actually reminded me of how when our Pretty Girl passed  I am pretty sure other parents who have lost a little one dread hearing the “I’m so sorry” I get it I do, we are humans and get uncomfortable when things that aren’t good happen and we have no clue what to do.

Right now with all that is going on with my family, I am so blessed to say that help has come from unexpected places that really have touched my family and me.

There has been lots of growing as well spiritly which I truly believe has been a good thing. Remember that post I talked about not getting cold in your faith well be careful what you say /or ask for because this has been a test of faith for sure. I have cried out truly and given completely.

The place I feel the safest is in the morning as I walk to mass just about every day. It is my refuge. It’s where I have been going and it’s how I have to start my day.  It’s been my strength.

I must say that although we are here and my heart is so thankful I have learned so many lessons but most of all the lesson of surrender to our Lord has been the biggest.

Right now my prayers are for more opportunities for work be it at home or out I need to bring in more of an income.  I am trusting in the Lord to guide me as to where and what my next steps should be.

As we settle in this new place I wake up with a thankful heart. I can not say how much my heart has changed as to how much I want to let our Lord in more than I had before.

This was one of the hardest Summers but it also was one of learning to truly let go and trust. so I admit I am still afraid that I know is just still “leftovers’ of well this traumatic Summer.

I am working on bringing this blog up to speed as I did post that I would have a Wordless Wednesday but all I’ve had is a postless Wednesday (oops) I also want to do start bring you reviews of small companies that I thing deserve to shine because after all small businesses really give the best customer service and attention to detail and I truly appriecate that.

If perhaps you are a small business (Catholic/Christain based) please feel free to contact me!

With that I say thank you for stopping by and I look forward to hearing from you and getting to know you better.